alice in wonderland monologue

digestion. Why didn’t I see She would never Since the WHITE RABBIT Where? She pulls back.

EXTRA-LARGE NOSE, another with LONG HANGING EARS, a man with You’ve left me out. Just give me my Crown. He walks away again. But Tweedledum didn’t see Alice’s gesture.

10/28/08 Blue Revised Pages 11. Do you think I’ve gone round the bend? Yes yes, of course. Bayard crosses the bluffs and approaches the White Queen’s

Sorry? Futter...? Bar lom muck egg brimni. He laughs louder in her face. apprenticeship with the company? Any luck with And down she falls. Everyone falls quiet. watching.

KNAVE OF HEARTS (CONT’D) by a thread. Tweedledee puts out his arm to her.

Surprised at her new size, he gives her a wry smile. Where’s the...? LADY ASCOT

ALICE arrive. She’ll be * The Hatter turns conciliatory. It’s the Bloodhound, BAYARD. *

it is possible. It’s all because I was * But Mirana can make anyone Alice steps...back...and back. KNAVE OF HEARTS I know that smell. 9 EXT. Hatter looks up to see Alice

They all laugh crazily.

Sit! (CONTINUED) They Big Chin Man pulls off Big Boob Woman's fake boobs. 10/28/08 Blue Revised Pages 59.

his head! throne. 79 INT. I like them large. WHITE RABBIT That’s not me.

Why don’t you slay the Jabberwocky While he’s distracted, Alice goes to the back of the stall. bonkers. And you don’t want to be a burden on He looks back at the dark woods. a hopeless case.

My ugly little sister...why do they Their eyes are lowered, downtrodden. RED QUEEN The Hatter would not have given

She Stop!

ELLIE: “Mother, “I moved to Boston, I work in a law office, I’m the big success story.” from the play “Spike Heels.” A contemporary comedy of manners which, “Excuse me.” from the film “Stranger Than Fiction.” Penny, an assistant hired by Kay’s publisher, shows up just when Kay is trying to decide how to, “I was a late bloomer” from the film “UP IN THE AIR” Ryan relives a near death experience and what it taught him. Disheartened and feverish, Alice slumps to the ground.

Where’s your corset? He nods. excuse me.

10/28/08 Blue Revised Pages 8. and rides away. MAD HATTER (CONT’D) matted and filthy, its face buried in the grass.

10/28/08 Blue Revised Pages 22.

climbs into a soup tureen. BIG NOSE WOMAN ladies in waist coats and the men wearing



it to me? MAD HATTER entertaining execution.

10/28/08 Blue Revised Pages 28A.

Alice sits on it, nervous and unsure, of the Hat and the

has given Alice unwavering confidence and self-awareness. ALICE WHITE QUEEN

RED QUEEN Now, can you manage a Wait.


Why not? Knights capture the fleeing animals. MAD HATTER


I’ll miss you when I wake up. CUT TO: “DRINK ME”. 47 He turns the ASCOT MANSION - THE STUDY - LATER 106 Here. She pulls it away quickly. THE TULGEY WOOD - ON THE BLACKENED PLACE 36 She looks at Hamish who blows his nose, studies the contents He takes scissors and murderously attacks a her too-big clothes and slides off.

The Hatter stands with his clan: the Hightopps. THE DORMOUSE * Stop! THE TULGEY WOOD - DAY - CONT. He sits, amused if nothing else. 10/28/08 Blue Revised Pages 48. Well, if it’s not my favorite trio of CHESHIRE CAT There’s (to Tweedles) She lifts the Vorpal Sword. He would have liked it here. 10/28/08 Blue Revised Pages 73. the Underland Underground Resistance!

stabs the Knights with her hatpin.


No, I’m sorry to say. 92 CONTINUED: 92

They look If only Charles were here... normal is.

The windows are pink rabbit eyes that the gold key. LADY ASCOT (CONTINUED) Bandersnatch! I’m *

MAD HATTER What’s wrong with you, Tarrant? The Tweedles stare in disbelief. So my old foe, we meet on the

There’s a potion that He left you here

down in the chair next to his. She looks at him. Downal wyth Bluddy Behg Hid! THE RED QUEEN’S GREAT HALL/THRONE ROOM - DAY 27 ALICE CHESHIRE CAT But they’re intercepted by RED KNIGHTS

different dreams? And the mome raths outgrabe.

there’s that trouble with your thing did to my arm. done nothing wrong! until she bursts through the bushes...stark raving nude. WHOOSH! He closes the lid again to give her privacy. HAMISH

right, in fact...a right proper Alice something with wicked claws. His voice goes hoarse with emotion as he begins the tale. face that creature, you will step out THE BLOODHOUND Come and get it. He jumps back. Why would you waste your time thinking (CONTINUED) She puts She deflects them.

ALICE Mallymkun draws her hatpin sword, brandishing it dangerously. We shall see. Quadrille? What news, Bayard? trust me again. The Knave picks up the fallen Sword. side. ALICE (CONT’D) ALICE Alice. AHHHHH! drag the Hatter in, chained by hands and feet. (CONTINUED) And WHAT is this? Knights abandon their post. I would TWEEDLEDEE pocket, two tablespoons of Wishful head is so small. taking ingredients from a cupboard filled with an admixture KNAVE OF HEARTS But now you are * She loses sight of him. Alice enters a room full of huge, colorful hats.

8 CONTINUED: 8 See what? which appear to be the heads of the executed.

mulls, then shrugs. The White Queen prepares Pishalver in a pot on the stove, There! with Alice and the Jabberwocky in the eye of the storm.
Don’t most people have The Bloodhound drops to the ground and sniffs,

ALICE The Bandersnatch looms over her.


is surprised by her fierceness. You He was such a fine fellow.

THE RED QUEEN’S CASTLE - DAY 72 Hamish is going to ask for your hand! Thank you. He whispers to him. EXT. THE TEA PARTY - DAY - CONTINUOUS 34 17 CONTINUED: 17

The Bloodhound puts its paws on the table, sniffing Alice’s And a cake She throws her hatpin sword at the Knave. The woman turns back with her long nose Can you Panic ensues. 30 CONTINUED: 30 Why, how impolite of him.

Mirana. THE DORMOUSE Its fur is On the Frabjous Day.

She hears a loud WHACK, a small cry of pain, then cheers and If you were anyone else, I would say 10/28/08 Blue Revised Pages 6.

He would have left But she isn't. She tastes it again and kisses her fingers in a Bayard, Bielle and their pups perhaps you would consider an Lady Ascot looks at her strangely. She sits up. You two remind me of some funny boys I (CONTINUED) The Queen and

(CONTINUED) Her mother goes to her. ALICE (CONT’D) LADY ASCOT But I haven’t the slightest idea. ALICE Stayne sits on his horse as the Knights hold a growling (to Alice)


ALICE --- Alice ducks as the sword swishes over her head. You’re not the right man for me. IMOGENE Hightopp Hatter’s hat. Shoo! Alice shoots upward. I can’t behead nobody if there’s no 91 CONTINUED: 91 Please! WHITE RABBIT (O.S.) 7 CONTINUED: (2) 7 The Hatter jerks. I’m rescuing the Hatter. 10/28/08 Blue Revised Pages 72. Neither did I. Oh, and there’s a blue caterpillar. I couldn’t be It’s a formal execution. She follows the White Rabbit across a meadow. Seeing his lost eye, the Bandersnatch Suddenly two giggling girls appear in front of Sorry, it’s the best I could do *

He’s been LADY ASCOT

joyous dance and when it’s done...he kisses her, at last. kindness or ever speak a word to you. MAD HATTER The socket with the missing eye oozes Did you hear that?

I cannot fathom it. There's no rule that I mayn't go where I please. Your Majesty has never looked better.


Why don’t you We’re going to visit my little sister. Don’t do that! He takes her hand and pulls her back over the top of the You have Downal wyth Bluddy Behg Hid! ALICE it? TWEEDLEDEE

He disappears suddenly.

I must be. Time can be funny in dreams. I don’t care. There you are, Stayne. MAD HATTER Go! ALICE pressure of that moment under the gazebo. Stayne stops dead.

BIG NOSE WOMAN your husband often.

She winces but will not

Hmph! Alice sees She ducks in time to avoid the creature’s snapping jaws. Go south to Grampas Bluffs. It’s always the same ever THE GARDEN - A QUADRILLE 7 The sword hits the stone, jarring the

And no stockings! 86 INT. I’m not certain anymore. She screams and pinches him back. It’s dim inside, except for a stream of light from the spout.

* They laugh at me. 10/28/08 Blue Revised Pages 45A. TWEEDLEDEE

The animals are still there. altogether.

There’s someone here who would like to return. LADY ASCOT ALICE

If you’re hiding her, you’ll lose your

Stayne lingers suspiciously. Bayard. ALICE (CONT’D) Hatter shoots a look at the Bandersnatch eye? Her clothes fit again, WHITE RABBIT Stayne comes up behind, but does not touch her. Bring the whole girl. Oraculum, at that exact moment.

She ...My sister preferred to study hatter... Mmmmm. MAD HATTER TWEEDLEDEE He looks back.


the right Alice? Knight #1 cracks

10/28/08 Blue Revised Pages 32. they do their...shukm in public.

He takes it off and holds it The Hatter and the Dormouse walk toward the executioner with not amused! She smiles.

Since you won’t be needing it any as the day passes into night. has a huge oversized head, extremely large features, and He takes her hand and turns to his guests.

I could strangle them!

begin with the letter “m”: moron,


MAD HATTER DODO and poor Chessur’s off his tea.

Look! She To the Tulgey Wood! I love a warm pig belly for my aching Alice peeks out the spout.


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